The winner of a copy of Andy Stanley’s book Communicating for a Change is Jackie Dummer who left her comment on Aug. 16 at 6:54 am. Yay, Jackie!
Today we have a guest post from Lynn Cowell who has found her niche in speaking to teens and moms of teens. She has some terrific tips on speaking to teens. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in her post for all us Speaker Girls!
Top Five Tips for Speaking to Teens
With mentoring teens for over ten years and having three of my own, I’ve gathered a few tips on speaking to teens:
1) Be direct and honest.
One of the best compliments I received was from 19 year old named Andi. “You are raw and direct.” I wasn’t sure how to take it until she added “That is great!” If you are speaking on a tough issue, like purity for instance, you can still speak truth into teens’ lives even if you’re teen years were rough. It is very important, however, to be honest. You’ll lose all creditability and opportunities for future invest if you are not honest.
2) Be vulnerable
When you are vulnerable, it creates a foundation for being heard. I’m not saying you have to spill your entire heart, but give them reason to believe you are real. Connect any point you make to a story; they will remember your story long after you are gone.
3) Be informed
If you want to be relevant, you have to know what is going on. Spend time with teens. Cook with them. Eat with them. Hang out with them. Read up on what is going on in their culture. This shows that you care about them.
4) Be approachable
Teens don’t need another authority figure in their lives. They have enough parents, coaches and teachers. They need a safe place to ask questions and be themselves. Listen and when the time is right and you have earned the right, speak truth.
5) Be available.
If you are speaking at an event, do not spend all of your time with the event planner, worship team or parents attending. Be with the kids. Eat by them. Sit by them. Talk to them. If you do, you will get to pray with them.
Lynn Cowell is the author of “His Revolutionary Love; Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You” a study for girls ages 12 – 18. She conducts “Revolutionary Love” conferences around the country empowering girls to find confidence in true love leading to wise choices. Connect with her at www.LynnCowell.com, Facebook at Lynn Martin Cowell and on Twitter at Lynn Cowell.
Cheryl Linder says
August 25, 2011 at 9:39 amWhen God allows us to be wounded, He heals us. He is working on healing me. I love my precious God and Saviour. Please pray for me as I seek to become all He intended. I want to glorify Him.
Brandi Strickland says
August 24, 2011 at 7:48 amHi, thank you for this opportunity to comment and for the wonderful bits of wisdom and advice that you provide. I’ve recently felt a huge calling upon my heart to begin a writing ministry and to become more involved in my church. I’ve teetered on the edge of total confidence in my abilities to complete self doubt and questioning God, asking if He’s sure about me. Time and time again He continues to remind me that its about what He can do through me and not about me. Amy, your blog message today was perfect timing. I long so badly to discover my full self in Christ and to live according to his purpose for me, but I’ve lacked confidence and been badly beaten with distractions over the last few weeks with my two sick babies. I’ve questioned so much that I forgot where I even began and wondered if God had taken back his calling and come to the same conclusion I had – that I was not good enough and inadequate – that I somehow could not manage it all and homeschool my little ones too. Boy was I wrong. I realize that God’s call on our lives is irrevocable and that God is just teaching me to trust him and grow my confidence in Him rather than in myself. God bless you for allowing Him to use you to speak to others like me!
Cathy says
August 24, 2011 at 12:39 amI agree with you on everything except talking to your own teens. I am honest, vulnerable, informed, approachable, and available, yet they do not want me ANYWHERE near them. And I think the relationship I have with my teens is very normal. I love my teens unconditionally, and I try to discipline and give them consequences and at the same time be loving and fair. Yet they want nothing to do with me. I feel I am a good example and positive, yet they are not responsive. Yours is a very good plan in theory – especially for kids that are not your own. They seems to listen more to other adults. However in dealing with your own kids, I believe no matter how hard you try, you will only get minimal results unless they are willing to be open to your openness. My teens are silent, as are most teens, at least to their own parents. They may be listening, but you will never know until they move out and realize you were always there for them. Brittany, above, is great. But she never mentioned responding to her own parents. She speaks of how it’s great when (other) adults are “honest, approachable and available.” I’m not being negative. I think it’s great advice, but I feel the same way as a mother of toddlers – some will be responsive and some won’t. Don’t think something’s wrong with you if you do all these things and it still doesn’t work. Hopefully they will come around one day.
Danielle Jones says
August 23, 2011 at 8:48 amThank you, Lynn for these awesome tips!! I’ve always tried to be this way with my daughter and I’m learning to carry it over with my ministry. I love the reaction I get from the girls when they know I’m actually human!
Blessings!
Brittany says
August 23, 2011 at 8:45 amAs a teen myself (well almost out of those years…I’ll be 20 in December), I fully agree with every single one of these! And here is why:
1) Be Direct and Honest — There really aren’t enough people that are and when adults are direct and honest with us, then it opens a trust between both parties.
2) Be vulnerable — Vulnerability shows a level of trust. It also gives room for us to be real and not keep the mask up.
3) Be informed — This is a biggie here. If you’re not informed, it’s difficult to relate.
4) Be approachable – If you do all of the above – you are pretty approachable (in most cases). Sometimes it takes time, but as the level of trust builds it helps with being more approachable.
5) Be available — This is also helpful. Sometimes we know we need to talk to someone other than our peers to help us get a new perspective or if there are other things going on. At times it takes us some time to talk ourselves up to talk, so being available to us makes a difference there, especially in those times.
Great tips Lynn! 🙂
Blessings!
Amy says
August 23, 2011 at 8:53 amBrittany, thank you, THANK YOU for taking the time to respond from a teen’s perspective!!
Kelli Wommack says
August 23, 2011 at 8:45 amThough I worked with teens and college students early on in my ministry (when I had a lot more energy!), I have not worked with them in about 11 years or so. Just recently some doors have opened to speak to our high school group at our church in the early part of next year. In addition, I have accepted a speaking engagement at an international youth leadership conference next summer. So, please, please, pray for me! I want to be available, approachable, informed, direct, and and vulnerable. I know God is stretching me…