It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

The end of 2020 brought a string of hard things.

My beloved aunt passed away unexpectedly in a hospital alone. One month later, after a long struggle, my mom passed away. At the same time, an estranged family member appeared. Then two close friends experienced life-altering hurts.

Life has felt heavy.

The strangeness of a world of Covid-related changes blankets all this like a shroud—not being able to travel to see friends or family; plans altered with quarantining; financial worries; kids not being able to celebrate milestones the way they imagined.

Disappointments rather than successes mark our ministries. We thought we’d be there—instead we’re here.

Some days I’m okay, but many days I’m sad—and that’s okay.

I won’t stay in this sad place, and neither will you. I don’t need pity or platitudes, and neither do you.

Whatever big or small hardness we’re going through, what we need is to grieve. 

We’ll have grief-triggers, probably for a long time to come. When I carefully wrapped in tissue paper a nativity set given to me by my aunt, I teared up thinking about how much she loved me with Christ’s love. As I sit and pray each morning, I wonder what the future holds with this formerly estranged family member.

You look at the script of that speaking message you were excited to share and now disappointment tugs. Maybe that great book idea no longer seems relevant in today’s world. You’re not really sure how to move forward in ministry, not sure of the direction God wants you take.

By the time you read this, it will be a new year. 2021 brings hope.

But it’s okay still not to be okay when 2021 arrives.

The only way to get through grief is to grieve.

So I’m writing this with the hope that you are comforted knowing you’re not alone if you’re feeling heavy with sadness.

And I’m writing this for one other reason. The new year often brings the expectation of new plans and new goals. That’s one of the reasons we love the new year!

But if you’re not feeling quite ready to move forward, rest assured—that’s okay. You don’t have to map out all your blog posts, podcasts, or speaking and writing goals right now.

You’ll get there.

We at Next Step Coaching Services look forward to coming alongside you this year as you move forward—one step at a time.

~ Melanie

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