I remember the first time I realized I wanted to be a speaker.
It was while I was watching a professional speaker lead a conference at my church. Several months before I had accepted the position as women’s ministry director and was handed a packet. “Oh! We forgot to tell you,” my friend said. “We have a speaker booked, and now you’re in charge of the conference.” (Big smile.)
I actually loved every minute of organizing the event with our women’s ministry team! But as I interacted with our completely lovely speaker, something insidious began to wind itself around my heart. It was envy, and if it could have spoken aloud, it would have said, “I want THAT!”
I wanted her platform.
I wanted her eloquence.
I wanted her audience.
I wanted her cute outfit.
Fortunately, I knew myself well enough to recognize the signs of covetousness rather than calling. So I asked God to kill the weed of envy exponentially growing and choking my heart and my calling to lead the women at our church.
God is faithful, and He did kill it.
For the following 3 years, I served in my current calling with joy and contentment.
Have you experienced mixed motives in your calling? I think if we’re honest, most of us would admit that we have. (Or am I the only horrible woman confessing her sins out there?! Ha!)
When we’re called to a public ministry like speaking or writing, there are so many opportunities to get off track. These are just a few:
- People pleasing
- Identity from works
- Savior complex
- Creating “good” circumstances instead of God-circumstances
- Desire for notoriety
- Confusing emotion for calling
Please come back next week to hear more about God’s purifying work in my heart and 2 keys questions that keep our motives un-mixed. I’d love for you to invite a friend via Facebook or Twitter! (There’s going to be an opportunity for you to win something wonderful, and you’ll have additional entries with some social networking.)